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Mar 09
2012
Shirley Goodman

How do you comfort a Bereaved Teen?

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The death of a close relative or friend is an unexpected crisis that most teens rarely think about or expect to experience. During these traumatic events in peoples’ lives God has promised to be close to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18), and He heals their wounds (Psalms 147:3).
 
Consider each of the following principles when dealing with a grieving teenager. The process includes allowing the teen to express their emotions, tell his sorrow-story, say goodbye, stay connected to family and friends and maintain a spiritual lifeline.

1.  Active listening is an important communication skill needed to deal with a grieving teenager. The teen must believe that the helper present with him or her is sincere, compassionate, andunderstanding. Hearing the teen express their feelings is important. During this time, the listener must make eye contact, use body language to convey concern and attention to the speaker. Death is as difficult for a young person to experience as it is for an adult. God’s word tells us grief is stressful affecting the body and the soul of each person, young and old. (Psalms 31:9)

2.  Allow their sorrow-story opportunity to surface. The listener must not avoid the subject because it is personally uncomfortable.  The teen verbalizing of his story helps foster the healing process.  Do not be afraid to discuss the deceased with the teen. Allowing the discussion is beneficial and part of the healing process to express emotions (negative and positive) associated with the death. Mention the person by name; it is important to encourage the teen to talk. Teens need to tell their sorrow-story just as adults do.

 Our goal as Christians should be to establish biblical boundaries to glorify God with our lives. Setting boundaries and maintaining them is necessary to experience our God given personal freedom.

Boundary problems can show-up in different areas of a person’s life.  The three areas to consider are clinical (emotional), relational (interaction with others), and functional (task-oriented) symptoms. Only by recognizing the boundary problems can a person start to establish healthy boundaries for themselves.

It is important to avoid seeing the symptom as the problem, but the symptom is the result (fruit) of the problem. These symptoms signal that you are hurting because of a problem. View the symptom as a sign or fruit of the problem. Seeking symptomatic relief is not enough; the goal is to solve the problem.

Feb 07
2012
Shirley Goodman

Is it Biblical to have Personal Boundaries?

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Is it Biblical to have Personal Boundaries?

It is important to understand the biblical nature and origin of boundaries. Each person must learn how to function successfully in relationship to God, his universe, and his people.

Some Christians experience confusion with boundaries, and may ask such questions as:

Jan 25
2012
Shirley Goodman

What if someone breaks the Golden Rule?

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Like many people you may have wondered what Christ was saying in the Sermon on the Mount when he spoke what is referred to as the “Golden Rule.” The Golden Rule may be summed up in three words: kindness, respect and honesty. Without these three elements healthy relationships are often jeopardized.  

Scripture says: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Mathew 7:12)

Jan 11
2012
Shirley Goodman

What is a Crisis?

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As we journey through life, we will encounter losses, crises and sometimes trauma. Some of these experiences are expected parts of life and some will be a shock. All these events require our problem solving skills and resources. Dr. Norman Wright states, “Every new situation we encounter provides us with the opportunity to develop new ways of using our resources in order to gain control.” Nothing is more disconcerting than feeling your life is out of control.  However, can we view it as an opportunity for growth and service?

One day we will encounter a problem or change that will seem overwhelming. When our support systems (within and without) fails to work. What happens then? This is a crisis.

One purpose of the New Testament church is to equip its members to better handle their own crises and equip them to help others in their time of need. In the letter to the Corinthians Paul states that God “comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:4).”  Pay it forward.

Jan 05
2012
Shirley Goodman

Don't Waste Your Cancer

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Don't Waste Your Cancer
John Piper


I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God's power to heal--by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God's plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.