Like many people you may have wondered what Christ was saying in the Sermon on the Mount when he spoke what is referred to as the “Golden Rule.” The Golden Rule may be summed up in three words: kindness, respect and honesty. Without these three elements healthy relationships are often jeopardized.  

Scripture says: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Mathew 7:12)

 In this verse, Jesus is not merely saying refrain from harming others, he is commanding Christians to show mercy, kindness, and grace to each other. Our motivation behind this response should be gratitude. Gratitude for the daily graciousness God shows us.

 However, we may find it difficult to decipher and apply this verse to daily living because before we can live-out the Golden Rule we need to clearly understand the expectations we have in and from relationships.  And, yet, Christians often feel they do not have relational rights nor should they expect anything from relationships. Again, Jesus reminds us that respect, kindness and honesty goes two ways. In a sense, Christians have “biblical rights” which foster respect, kindness and honesty in relationships. What are these “biblical rights”?

 Most of our perspectives and views were shaped in our family of origin.  Few people have ever spent the time to consider their personal rights in a relationship. Read these following rights to evaluate your personal expectations and experiences in your relationships.

 Biblical Rights in a Healthy Relationship  

 I have--

• The right to goodwill from the other.
• The right to emotional support.
• The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
• The right to have my own view, even if my mate/significant other has a different view.
• The right to have my feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
• The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes I find offensive.
• The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately my business.
• The right to live free from accusations and blame.
• The right to live free from criticism and judgment.
• The right to have my work and my interests spoken of with respect.
• The right to encouragement.
• The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
• The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.
• The right to be called by no name that devalues me.
• The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.    (Adapted from Patricia Evans-- The Verbally Abusive Relationship)

While these “rights” may seem quite clear for you, you may have also quickly realized with some people this reciprocity is not going to happen. This does not negate the importance of your God-given rights in a relationship.

Every relationship has some violation of personal rights. And, even healthy relationships are a work in progress. Ask yourself “Am I going to settle for what I have or do I want more from this relationship?  The choice is yours.

For relationships to be healthy growing and dynamic it is necessary to first understand “biblical rights” in relationships and then to develop personal boundaries to avoid violation of those rights. Boundaries provide emotional and mental protection, which, in turn make relationships more authentic.

God refers to our physical body as the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). He expects each person to practice good boundaries, keeping good things in and bad things out. Proverbs 4:23 says. "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Our boundaries are God-ordained to help us protect His temple, our body.
It is your choice, are you choosing to experience your God-given rights of kindness, respect and honesty in your relationships?

 Next: What are Boundaries?